Ayon kay Ramneek Tung, mahigit isang oras siyang pumila para maka-order sa Jollibee Calgary na kabubukas lang noong nakaraang Agosto. Isang malaking pagsisi daw ang isang oras na sinayang nya sa pagpila sa kilalang fast-food chain na ito na mas mainam pa na ginamit nya sa ibang bagay.
Ngunit bakit nga ba ganito na lang ang pagkadismaya ni Ramneek Tung sa produkto ng Jollibee na pinaka-sikat at pinaka-paboritong fast-food chain ng nakakaraming Pinoy?
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| Photo credits: mitsueki blog |
"So today, I went to Jollibee... After an hour of eavesdropping on vulgarian talk and hearing about entrepreneurial youngsters being paid $15/hour to wait in line for the actual customers, I finally got to the front of the line. And I was f*ckng frustrated about losing an hour of my life; an hour that I’ll never get back; an hour I could’ve spent watching an episode of Mindhunter, getting laid, or listening to Illmatic twice.
I ordered a six piece bucket of chicken, spaghetti and a Yum Burger. Everything f*cking sucked.
My good friend Blake said that he could only justify Jollibee’s lineups and hype if their chicken cured cancer. I would agree with that statement. But even if the chicken had a plethora of antioxidants, preventing many types of cancer, I still wouldn’t eat it. Because it f*cking sucks.
The chicken was overly crispy, preventing you from actually tasting any of the flesh. It was shamefully inferior to KFC and Mary Brown’s. And it was labelled spicy, but I got a three year old nephew who could eat it without breaking a sweat. The gravy was fine, but it failed due to the shoddy quality of the chicken.
The spaghetti was a steaming pile of shit. It had f*cking hot dog pieces in it. Back in the day, when my mom ran out of ground beef and sausage, she would add hot dog bits to spaghetti, resulting in a despicable meal. This was a dish my mom made out of desperation when she ran out of ingredients. The fact that I paid for the equivalent item today hurt my pride. And Jollibee’s spaghetti sauce tasted like low quality ketchup; it was hideous. Ketchup, hot dog bits and banal spaghetti equals lowbrow food.
And the burger... goddamn, what a f*cking piece of garbage. A patty that had no umami whatsoever, and a deranged amount of 1000 island dressing, or some other similar mayo trash. It was like biting into a butthole right after a shit was expelled.
The pineapple quencher was decent, but it’s virtually identical to Dole’s pineapple juice, so whatever.
I’ve heard stories about Jollibee catering to the nostalgia of many Filipino-Canadians, who vividly remember eating from the joint in the Philippines. And that’s cool. I mean no offence to these fine people. But I’m just not one to cloud my judgment with nostalgia. As a kid, I loved The Golden Child and Full House, but I now know they both suck. And Jollibee truly sucks. Possibly the worst fast food restaurant I’ve ever been to. A f*cking dump.
Yum Burger w/ Cheese: 0.05/5
Jolly Spaghetti: 1.15/5
Jolly Crispy Chicken (Spicy): 2.35/5
Ang food review na ito ni Ramneek Tung na kanyang pinost sa kanyang Facebook page ay umani ng iba't ibang reaksyon sa mga Pinoy netizens na umabot ng 2,200+ comments at mahigit isang libong Facebook reactions.
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